: Feathre's Take :

Hellsing is a really bloody, morbid, and amazingly cool anime/manga series about vampires who fight on the side of both evil and good ^^ (relatively speaking, of course). The main vampire dude would be Alucard, whose name surprisingly few people realize is Dracula spelled backwards. This is not helped by the fact that sometimes his name is translated as Arucard. In the first episode (and volume ^^) he meets a lovely boy (er, girl) named Victoria Celes, whom we recognize from the opening animation as having a really long tongue. We are also introduced to Integral Hellsing, who, besides having a fondness for shouting, is a rather handsome man (er.. woman). The first plot arc is helped along by your typical evil vampire-type who likes to make vast hordes of zombies out of innocent people, thus giving Alucard plenty of opportunities to show off his utter coolness and also his supernatural ability to talk to himself. People run through the woods, and churches are involved. Many bullets later, Victoria Celes gains her most redeeming feature -- mutated teeth -- and we the audience realize that Alucard is utterly cool. Several moments later, we realize his hat is too.

Chapter Questions
1. Why do the Japanese think tongues are sexy? Explain.
2. Is Integral secretly a man? How about Victoria? Cite examples.
3. Predict: Will Alucard's hat play a greater part in future installments of Hellsing? How do you know?
Bonus Question :
How long do you think Victoria will keep on her policewoman's uniform?

: Other Episodes After #1 :

Disclaimer : These summaries are limited to feathre's rapidly failing memory. She is not responsible for any information, or lack thereof, in them. Bwahahaha.

Sometime in the next many episodes, a scary psycho-Priest dude shows up. He is most remembered for his appearance in a Monty Python dub-parody stating, "It's just a flesh wound!" (available at a file-sharing program near you). Other than that, you have stupid drugged-up teenagers, pseudo-vampires who are clearly demonstrated to be not as cool as Alucard, many men in suits, and god-awful scary versions of chibi-ness that are enough to give you nightmares. Alucard himself is worn as a hat. Yes, you heard me right. His hat has consumed him and made him into a fashion accessory. In addition, we meet a retired butler named Walter (EVERY anime needs its very own wire-weilding fiend!) and peoples' heads imploding. These two events are most likely not related. In fact, peoples' heads implode at a rate of nearly 5 implodations per episode. Its just one of those trademark things, you know?

Chapter Questions
1. Count all head implodations. Disregard all those in the opening animation.
2. Download the Monty Python parody. Watch it. Exactly how funny is it? Answers given in helpless shrieking laughter will be given extra credit.
3. Predict: How would YOU react if a piece of someone's rotting face fell on your cheek? Would you go psycho on their ass? Yes, we thought so too.
Bonus Question :
Agree or Disagree - Does a bigger gun necessarily make you a bigger bad-ass? How about if it was silver and had your boss's name engraved on it? Discuss.